Bereavement: Managing Loss and Grief
Death is probably the most difficult separation in life. And yet every one of us has to face it sooner or later. Even though our deceased loved ones are like kites that fly away from us, the strings of the kites are not broken. The connection with our loved ones will not end after their death. Through the strings of the kites, let us tell our loved ones that we are learning to adapt to the separation and coping with grief, and send our memories and blessings to them from afar.
When our loved one is in his/her last days
Medical arrangements |
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Taking care of the body |
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Taking care of the mind |
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Saying goodbye to loved one |
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After our loved one passed away
There are many practical issues that need to be handled after the death of a loved one. One can handle these issues according to their significance and seek help from family members, friends, or organizations when necessary.
Breaking bad news |
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Attending funeral |
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Housing arrangement |
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Handling belongings of the deceased |
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Grief reactions
Emotional |
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Behavioural |
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Cognitive |
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Physical |
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Grief is a normal reaction after the loss of a loved one. The intensity and duration may vary across individuals. Grief reactions may also fluctuate over time, with stronger intensity on special occasions such as birthday, death anniversary, other anniversaries, or festivals. Everyone grieves in his/her own way. There is no need to compare with others. Just follow your own pace in the grieving process.
Coping with grief
Sharing experiences and feelings | One can truly accept and transform the pain of grief only if he/she is willing to face and experience it honestly. Talking to trusted friends, relatives, or professionals about your grief will help you come to terms with the death. |
Attending funeral or mourning ritual | Bidding farewell to your deceased loved one at a funeral, saying things that you did not have a chance to say, or sending your final blessings will help you accept the death and process your emotions. |
Letting out grief | Choose your own ways to express your feelings, such as crying, talking to your friends, writing letters to the deceased, practising calligraphy, drawing, dancing, singing, etc. |
Resuming daily routines | A structured daily routine such as regular sleep, balanced diet, appropriate level of physical exercise, social interaction, etc. can help you adjust to the changes after the death of a loved one. |
Adjusting to new roles in life | You can adjust to new roles by learning new skills, developing hobbies, and redefining your view about self and life in general. |
Maintaining connection with the deceased | Your connection with a loved one will not end after his/her death. It can be maintained by other means such as looking through photo albums, visiting graves, or continuing life with his/her values. |
Nurturing existing and building new relationships | While maintaining connection with the deceased, you can put effort to nurture existing relationships with friends and relatives. You may also try expanding your social network by meeting new friends with an open heart. |
When grief becomes unbearable
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If the symptoms above cause significant distress or impairment in daily functioning, you should seek help from doctors or health care professionals immediately.
Community resources
Hospital Authority Mental Health Direct ( 24 hours) | |
Tel: 2466 7350 | Website: https://www.ha.org.hk/ |
Social Welfare Department | |
Tel: 2343 2255 | Website: http://www.swd.gov.hk/ |
Society for the Promotion of Hospice Care | |
Tel: 2331 7000 | Website: http://www.hospicecare.org.hk/ |
The Comfort Care Concern Group | |
Tel: 2361 6606 | Website: http://www.cccg.org.hk/ |